It’s been a rough and tumble couple of months for video game criminals. Here are some of the lamest, funniest, and just plain strangest stories of those who got caught:
May 5: Police Seek 3 In Video Game Store Robbery (WLWT)
“Investigators said two of the men pretended to be customers when they entered Gamestop shortly before the store closed on Monday night. The men helped a third man, who was armed with a handgun, enter the store and force the employees into the rear of the store.”
This is just one more reason why we never trust the customers at GameStop.
May 12: Woman Reports TVs, Computer, Game Consoles Taken From Home (Herald Dispatch)
“A 22-year-old woman reported that someone broke into her residence in the 1200 block of 25th Street sometime during the overnight hours of May 8-9 and stole items valued at $2,450. Stolen were a laptop, three video game machines, two 30-inch flatscreen televisions and six purses.”
No! Not the purses!
May 13: Video Game Systems, Jewelry Stolen From 14th St. Home (Buffalo News)
“The resident of the home, located just north of North Avenue, told police he had left his home between 8 and 8:30 p. m. When he returned, a PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 and several pieces of jewelry, with a total value of about $1,600, had been taken.”
Be warned: never leave your game consoles alone.
May 13: Robbers Hit Video Game Store In National City (Sign On San Diego)
“Two robbers got away with video game systems, cash and video games in a takeover robbery Tuesday night at the GameStop at Plaza Bonita, police said. The robbers took every video game system in the store, along with other merchandise and an undetermined amount of cash, police said.”
These guys now have ever video game system from the store? We wanna party with them.
May 20: Judge Will Decide The Owner Of Video Game (Fredericksburg.com)
“A 44-year-old man who lives on the first floor reported to police that someone had stolen his PlayStation2 console while he had been away between midnight and noon Monday. … Officer Richard McKnight was checking with neighbors to see if anyone had noticed anything suspicious. … During the interview, McKnight noticed a Playstation2 on top of William’s TV and, upon inspection, saw what he believed to be recently carved initials on the console.”
We’re glad judges are getting involved in divvying up PS2s, and we believe that “recently carved initials” should be admissible in court. Which is why we’re suing for ownership of our neighbor’s house – our initials are on it.
June 1: San Benito Arcade Robbed At Gunpoint (Fox 2)
“Police in San Benito are looking for a band of thieves who held up an arcade Sunday morning. … If you should have information on the suspect’s whereabouts or the incident itself, you’re urged to call Donna Police at 361-3880.”
The craziest part of that quote – “Donna Police” is the name of an actual person. She’s a very nice woman – give her a call!
June 5: Pac-Man Coffee Pills Put Man In Court (ABC Australia)
“Police allege 20-year-old Joffre James McGovern flew from Brisbane to Darwin with carry-on luggage containing more than three grams of cocaine and 600 tablets. The prosecution says the tablets were shaped into small pills with a Pac-Man insignia and looked like ecstasy.”
And just how did the prosecution know the Pac-Man pills look like ecstasy? Busted!
June 9: Tires Slashed Over Video Game (Eagle Tribune)
“A Lawrence man was arrested after he slashed three tires on his ex-girlfriend’s car because she would not give him her Sony Playstation video game console, police said. … The officers were told on the radio that the man had left the scene and was wearing a white shirt with flowers on it and blue shorts.”
We firmly believe that any man found wearing “a white shirt with flowers” should be arrested on sight. The details can always be sorted out later.
June 14: Video Games, System Taken From Frat House (Online Athens)
“Three burglars broke into the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity house on South Milledge Avenue and stole an Xbox 360 video game system and four video games with a total value of $440… Two fraternity members went to the house and saw three young men hiding in the chapter room of the house… The fraternity members confronted the trespassers, who said they were there visiting friends… the three burglars ran out the front door, hopped into a car and sped away… The burglars only took the video game system and games, but attempted to remove a flat-screen television as well, police said.”
Oh no, without their video games, what will these poor frat guys do? They’ll be forced to make due with the usual hazing, strutting, and bellowing.
June 15: Microsoft Sues Three For ‘Massive’ Click Fraud Scam (Computerworld)
“Microsoft filed a lawsuit on Monday against three people accusing them of running a ‘massive’ click fraud scheme that involved harnessing hundreds of thousands of computer IP (Internet protocol) addresses to target advertisers promoting auto insurance and the World of Warcraft on-line game.”
Their main crime was using their evil powers to promote World of Warcraft – they should have been promoting Halo 3.
June 16: Employees Sue Bankrupt San Rafael Video Game Company (Contra Costa Times)
“Former employees of Factor 5 Inc., a San Rafael video-game company that abruptly closed last month, have sued the company, asserting that it fraudulently conveyed intellectual property to another company before declaring bankruptcy to avoid paying the employees and other debtors. … LucasArts Entertainment Co., which is owned by filmmaker George Lucas, is the company’s single biggest creditor.”
Yes, someone please help George Lucas get more money.
June 19: Former Lawrence Police Officer Accused Of Selling Stolen Video Games (Lawrence Journal)
“A former Lawrence police officer, once honored as a hero, is being charged with 14 federal counts of felony wire fraud, accused of selling stolen video games on eBay while employed by the police force. Robert Ryan Sayler, 32, is suspected of devising and executing a scheme in which he purchased video games from Target, removed the video game discs from their original packaging, returned the empty boxes to Target for a complete refund and then sold the discs online, according to an indictment.”
Sure, but that’s just according to the indictment.
June 23: Police: 3 Stole Xbox Games From Wal-Mart (WSBTV)
“Investigators said (suspects) bought Xbox games at Wal-Mart, removed the real games and replaced them with a blank compact discs. The suspects then returned the games to Wal-Mart for cash refunds and sold the real games on eBay, according to police. … The loss to Wal-Mart was estimated at about $10,000.”
Wow, Wal-Mart is out $10,000 – just think of all the health insurance they could have refused to buy for their employees with that money.
June 23: Suspect Breaks Into Video Game Store Through Roof (KDKA)
“Surveillance video shows the suspect moving around inside the store, but according to police, the suspect must have realized he couldn’t get out through any of the doors. … Police say it doesn’t appear the suspect took anything.”
We’re sorry about this – we just wanted to see if we could break in through the roof and hang out with some video games – we didn’t mean to arouse any attention.
June 25: PlayStation Pirates All Plead Guilty (Fairfax Times)
“The final member of a conspiracy that held employees of a Fairfax County gaming company at gunpoint while stealing thousands of dollars of iPods, Xbox 360s, PlayStation 3s and other gaming equipment was convicted by a jury in Alexandria federal court June 24th.”
Um… “PlayStation Pirates” – coolest criminal designation ever? YES!
Hey crime busters! Also check out:
Police Blotter: Top 15 Video Game-Related Crimes For The Month Of April
Police Blotter: Top 9 Video Game-Related Crimes and Accidents For The Month Of March
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